


I Would Have Let You Leave

by sapphire2309



Series: amis amants [1]
Category: White Collar
Genre: F/M, Mild spoilers for 3x16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-05-24 16:27:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6159601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphire2309/pseuds/sapphire2309
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After celebrating Peter's reinstatement, Sara tries to leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Would Have Let You Leave

**Author's Note:**

> Repost from [here](http://sapphire2309.livejournal.com/51675.html?thread=483803#t483803) for tagging purposes. Set during 4x04, just before the end. Title from Static Waves by Andrew Belle ft. Katie Herzig
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** White Collar is Jeff Eastin's brainchild. Not mine.

"Leaving without saying goodbye?" Neal asks from behind her. Damn it. She'd hoped that he'd stay in the back room for at least a minute more.

Sara resists the urge to cringe, gives herself a moment to breathe, then turns around with a pointed expression in her eyes and half a grimace on her face. "You did," she says, too cheerfully. She takes one look at his crumpling face and sighs. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he says softly. "I probably deserve worse than that."

"Still."

Neal gives her a small smile before turning towards the balcony. "Do you want to, uh, not admire that view for a little longer?"

Better and better. "You noticed."

"Oh, don't worry, you didn't look rude, just... pensive. In deep thought."

"Not helpful."

He smiles sweetly at her.

"I'm leaving," she says.

"Stay. Just for five minutes. We'll have about thirty seconds to walk there and back, and four and a half minutes of an excellent view that you can studiously ignore."

"You're incorrigible."

"You could just say no. I promise I'll back off."

"Damn right you will."

"So?"

"...Five minutes."

He doesn't indulge in a triumphant smile, just looks at her warmly and offers his arm.

She takes it.

They walk out to Neal's little balcony, stopping just short of the railing.

"Long day?" he asks.

"Long couple of months."

"Yeah." He looks a little tired around the eyes himself, not as well rested as an island vacation should have left him. She wonders why.

"You said you were okay," he says softly, not accusingly.

She lets go of his arm and leans away from him ever so slightly. "I am, I didn't lie. I'm not angry at you."

She stops.

How much can she say without saying too much?

"I just spent the past hour thinking about Emily. I don't think I'll ever be okay with the way she just... disappeared," she says slowly, testing every word as she says it, making sure that she's okay with it being heard. "And besides, you were wide open."

Neal lets out a resigned little sigh that turns into a little chuckle, and just for a moment, they're two fairly happy people with very little baggage. And then they're not.

 _Just a moment's notice before you left, and I would have been okay_ , she doesn't say out loud. She's the one clinging too tightly to the past. He just happened to choose a very fraught moment to jet off for parts unknown.

"You don't want to talk about it," he says.

"No," she agrees.

"It's okay to have your human moments, you know."

"I do know. I just prefer to be drunk enough that I fall asleep halfway through the ordeal."

"I have an extensive collection of wine," he starts, but she raises a hand to stop him.

"Alone."

He nods, not offended in the least. "Of course."

"I'm going to leave now."

"Okay." He doesn't accompany her to the door. But just as she reaches it, his voice taps her on the shoulder.

"Have I.. have I broken this? Us?"

Sara pauses with her foot on his doorstep. This truth is not one that he deserves. And yet, she turns to look at him. He's braced for a sucker punch to the heart, but his eyes are still alive with hope.

 _Foolish romantic._ She looks at him a little more kindly, even as she's shaking her head at his naïveté.

"Not completely," she says, very carefully. "Not yet."

She just took two steps in a very dangerous direction, and she doesn't care as much as she should, because Neal's answering smile - teary eyes, tightly scrunched cheeks and all - is one she's never seen before, and it's the only thing that convinces her that she isn't a fool to believe him.

Maybe, just _maybe_ , she won't regret this as much as she thought she would.

"Goodbye, Neal," she says, and finally leaves.


End file.
